


The Closed Chapter - Archie Andrews

by rylandpml



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Gen, Hurt Archie Andrews, Mentioned Betty Cooper, Mentioned Jughead Jones, Mentioned Veronica Lodge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2018-06-25
Packaged: 2019-05-28 15:40:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15052442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rylandpml/pseuds/rylandpml
Summary: This is written as a blog post from the point of view of Archie Andrews who talks about what he went through during his high school life.





	The Closed Chapter - Archie Andrews

Hey! I’m Archie.

Most of you on here know me either from school or you’ve seen me around Riverdale. I’m new to Tumblr and my friend Jughead suggested using it to talk about whatever is on my mind. He seems to find writing therapeutic so what’s the worst that could happen? I’ve decided to share my high school story. This isn’t for sympathy, I just need to get this off my chest. Here goes nothing.

_**15** _

Sophomore year started off amazing. I spent the summer working for my dad and as much as I love him, it wasn’t for me. I fell in love with music and I would spend my nights practicing as it just felt right. Obviously my dad was shocked by this epiphany but he eventually grew fond of the idea. Betty was a great support also :)

However if I wanted to play, I needed someone to coach me.

That’s when I was reunited with the music teacher, Mrs Grundy, who I had seen on occasion over summer. If you shockingly haven’t heard some twisted rumour or bullshit version of what happened, I'm here to tell you the truth.

She was clever, I can’t deny that. She had a way with words which made my 15 year old self blind to the reality of what was happening. When my friends found out, they warned me and if you’re reading this I’m so sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m paying for that now. Who does that to a kid? I’ve always been vulnerable but I guess that made me an easy target. The empty promises and sweet nothings she whispered to me made me believe that it was love. My youthful oblivion caused a situation that changed my life forever. I have to live with what she did to me and possibly other young boys. I can’t explain to you how the realisation felt, I don’t wish that amount of sleepless nights and suffocating anxiety on my worst enemy. See, sexual manipulation is one thing, but the emotional manipulation is what sticks. Being blamed by not only my peers but myself was the hardest part. How do I expect others to understand that pain when in reality I didn’t myself? No matter who told me. Whether it was Betty, Kevin or my dad for that matter. I didn’t know that I needed help nor did I give myself time to figure it out.

_**16** _

By the time I was 16, I was beginning to heal. Very slowly.

Some days were harder than others but I started to get better nights sleep. However some of the bad days contributed to this long healing process. It ranged from very minor to very dramatic events.

One day, I managed to save my friend from doing something terrible. Yes it was traumatic for the most part but I learnt a valuable lesson from my own actions. I realised that everyone has a part of their story they don’t want to tell or feel like they can. It took months for me to realise that I wasn’t alone and the feelings I have had some value. On a lighter note, another day, I managed to pick up my guitar for the first time in months. Originally, the thought of doing so would bring back unwanted memories and conversations that still haunt me to this day. I had every right to feel proud of myself and it’s the first time I had let myself feel something positive in a very long time.

That’s where my story ends right? The boy next door went through some shit but got his happy ever after. Isn’t that how all cheesy high school stories are supposed to end?

Well, get ready for the sequel.

_**POPS** _

Anyone who knows me or lives in a 10 mile radius of Riverdale knows this story. I was a point of peace in my life, which I hadn’t felt in quite a while. Even though I had a broken hand and slight limp from the day I saved my friend, I was doing okay. I stayed over at Veronica’s the night prior but decided to meet my dad for breakfast at Pops in the morning. I’ll spare you the details of what we had for breakfast or what song was playing on the radio. This changed my life forever and I can’t sugar-coat it. As soon as I saw him. The man who was masked by a black hood holding the gun that caused chaos not only throughout the town but inside my own head.

_**A RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK** _

BANG

There he was, my own father, crying out for help in a broken voice which is now drilled into my ear drums. Next thing I knew the gun was at my head and I was frozen, I didn’t feel anything until the pops bell chimed, signalling his escape. Every little detail is engraved into my memory. From trying to out race death in a car I couldn’t legally drive yet to finding the physical strength to tell my mom that she needs to come because there’s a good chance we will have to say goodbye. Even though he survived, it’s still in the back of my mind and it probably always will be.

_**GREEN EYES** _

I didn’t sleep for months because every time I closed my eyes all I saw was his cold and soulless ones. I know what you’re thinking.

“Arch, we get it you looked into his eyes”.

You don’t get it. You never will until every grown man with green eyes triggers a horrific flashback that makes everyone around you at threat. Everlasting nights with my hand gripped tight to my dad’s old baseball bat because even a loud gust of wind would make me practically leap out the chair I replaced my bed with. I was recommended to seek help by my friends & family to try and ease my mind. I’ve always been someone who takes action by nature. However my drive to help others landed me in the hands of a man whose intentions were not as heroic as they first seemed.

_**THE TRUSTED VILLAIN** _

I’m going to keep this one short because to be quite fair I could do without the  extra jail time.

I was at the height of my suffering and I pretty much felt hopeless. All I wanted was the Black Hood to be caught and would’ve went to any length for justice. He was tactical man and I only realised that he didn’t want to help me when it had already gone too far. It started off small with the red circle but it descended far past the sole purpose of why I turned to him.

It seems to be a common theme in my life. Whether it be as simple as music practice or a trauma driven quest to take down the towns murderer. The adults; who are supposed to protect the youth, found my vulnerabilities and used that to their own advantage. I didn't know what I had done to deserve this. I don’t know what I did to have my spirit torn away from me piece by piece at an age where I was supposed to be learning and growing. What did I do so wrong to deserve to lose myself due to the actions of those that are meant to keep you safe?

** _THE BLACK HOOD_ **

If you have read this far, thank you. If you want to click away from this now I get it. The Black Hood ruined many people’s lives and Riverdale in general so if you don’t feel like you can read any more about this, I understand. If you’re going to carrying on. I might have talked about some fucked up stuff already but this is quite honestly the main event.

I’m gonna go back to what I mentioned before. When the Black Hood case was still wide open, many people around made sly comments about me constantly referring to his eyes. Do you want to know why? It was the only feature of him that I could see behind the mask. The image of his eyes right after he shot my dad is burned into my memory and I don’t think it’ll ever leave. I used to be terrified to look at any grown man that wasn’t my father in the eyes purely because it could’ve triggered a painful flashback of that brief moment in sophomore year. Sadly, even when the case had closed, the wounds of my brain were still wide open and left up to me fix.

I will never forget the night in the graveyard. I really did think to myself that if I stopped the Black Hood, everything would go back to the way it was. Around 30 minutes later, I was trapped in a tight coffin being buried alive because he would’ve killed my best friend otherwise. Not to mention 5 minutes earlier I had a gun held up to me which was a sight so familiar to me that I didn’t even try to run.

Who knew that one man with a black mask & gun could take my youth away in a matter of minutes? Little did I know that this would lead me into the hands of the man I talked about earlier. I let myself be manipulated into using violence & terror as a way to seek justice and to anyone who I hurt in that process I want you to know I am truly sorry. I mean this isn’t all negative. I did start to get back on track and began to feel like myself again after months of feeling completely empty. I won student body president which made me feel like I wasn’t completely hopeless. However it seems like any joy that comes my way is meant to be short term because of the disaster of the rewarding ceremony.

Now you’re thinking, nothing can get worse for Archie Andrews surely. Hasn’t the “boy next door” already been through too much? Imagine being a 16 year old, who already has PTSD, locked in a cell after being framed for a murder that you saw happen with your own two traumatised eyes. By the time I was 17, I was tired of fighting. No human being should have ever to endure the amount of suffering that I went through in the space of year & a half.

I was emotionally depleted.

_**RECOVERY** _

As much as I tricked myself into believing otherwise, this wasn’t something that time would heal. I needed help but I was the last one to realise it. I refused meeting after meeting with the school councillor to the point where my dad booked a “non-negotiable” appointment with an actual therapist. I was in therapy for around a year & a half before I was discharged. As much as I hated the first couple of sessions, I started to let go of what I had bottled up since I was 15 and started to allow myself to recover.

 

_**21** _

Fortunately, this part of my life does have a nice ending. I’m 21 now and I'm the most content I have ever been. One thing I never thought I would be able to do is love again. I went through a pretty rough break up during this time period due to my circumstances. However I found someone who was right in front of me the entire time. The relationship itself couldn't heal me but she was the shoulder to cry on and the one who never gave up me regardless of how hard things were for me and for her. She is strong, loving and so much more than your average girl next door.

On a final note,I decided to write this post so I feel like I can finally finish this chapter of my life. There was once a time when I felt like this was going to be my entire story but now I know that I’m stronger than what happened to me. Obviously it’s still something I think about a lot but I know not to let this define me. I am about to go into my last year of studying music at college. I never thought that would even be a possibility for me so I’m proud of myself for getting this far.

_**THANK YOU** _

Thank you for reading about my life and allowing me to have the closure I have been searching for. I hope this allows you to see that you can heal from anything but it just takes time.

thanks again, Archie.


End file.
